16 Points to Network Effectively As An Introvert (or An Empath)

It can be uncomfortable (or even terrifying!) to go out and network if you are an introvert. Here are suggestions to help you network with less stress, and which I (honestly) developed for myself because I鈥檓 actually both an empathy and an introvert by nature.

Remember that the real point of networking and marketing is not who you know but who knows you.

Networking can happen in personal, local events or it can happen in a virtual environment through social media and chat forums. While the following points were originally written to support in-person networking, many of them (if not all) also apply to the virtual networking scenario. Simply exchange the context in your mind so that it applies to the virtual environment.

Networking is a win-win exchange of ideas, energy and resources 鈥� it helps all the people involved, one at a time 鈥� which is right back to your relationship comfort zone as an introvert.

Networking is the gateway to marketing visibility by generating more contacts, leads, referrals and, ideally, new clients. The more people you meet, the more business you will generate 鈥� it鈥檚 plain statistics.

Over time, it will become easier for you to network because have created the conditions and the mindset that support you as you go. Networking really is one of the best strategies for widening your circle of influence, growing your business and making new friends.

Here are 16 points to help create a powerful mindset around networking:

1. It鈥檚 not fair to you to be invisible, nor is it fair to the people who need to know you 鈥� the ones who can benefit from who you are and what you have to offer. You have to be seen to sell.

2. You get the opportunity to initiate / build several relationships one person at a time. It leverages your time, in the long run, by being open to the possibilities, by having serial meetings with prospective clients at the same time so you have more time later to get on with creating and delivering products. And meeting someone in person is a stronger foundation than meeting via technology, although that is changing as social media and online forums connect people. (Interestingly enough, even virtual communities eventually seem to have events where people can meet in person.)

3. Think of networking as a series of strategic meetings in a finite timeframe. And it鈥檚 with people who are generally meeting for a reason or around a particular interest. So only go if it鈥檚 something you would like to do or enjoy anyway. And it鈥檚 also easier to keep the momentum and it feels more real after you鈥檝e met in person.

4. Remember to speak up and say what you need to, because you are the only one who can say it your way. Nobody gets to speak for you. And you have something to say, or you wouldn鈥檛 be in business. Start by talking with one person at a time.

5. Key things to help you: have a concise Audio Logo for introducing yourself, wear your name badge on the right so it鈥檚 visible when shaking hands, give your business card only when asked (and ask only for those you really want), understand what can help someone and offer those tools you have to help without any expectation of a return in the moment (you can feel 鈥榯it for tat鈥� vs. real connection and so can other people). Also, do not give away your services in the moment – doctors don鈥檛 treat patients at networking events.

6. Focus on the people you are meeting, like how they think and what you have that could help them so the focus isn鈥檛 on you and which takes the pressure off you to perform or lead the conversation. Since people really don鈥檛 get to talk about themselves very often, it actually opens people up to expressing themselves in a very real way. Have you noticed that a stranger will share the most intimate things with you? It happens because you ask them questions that have nothing to do with the event, but instead, to make people feel good and relaxed. Examples are questions like 鈥渉ow did you get started in your business?鈥�, 鈥渨ho is a good referral for you?鈥�, and 鈥渉ow can I help you manifest something right now?鈥�

7. Consider the people who you feel are intimidating to you as a gift for your personal development, because it鈥檚 often what they do well that activates your defense mechanism. For example, if they really look the part, seem in their element and are evidently good at what they do, and you feel unworthy somehow, they are showing you your pain points so you can do something about them. Thank them vs. being threatened by them. Also, everyone has a story and, true to the old adage, you can鈥檛 always judge a book by its cover. Once you know what鈥檚 inside, it鈥檚 hard to be afraid of anything 鈥� especially another person.

8. If you feel out of place, remember your strengths AND that people aren鈥檛 paying as much attention to you as you think 鈥� they鈥檙e probably thinking about themselves more! You can鈥檛 really know what people are thinking about you, but you can help guide them by having clear marketing messages and sharing your story. Everyone has a story and, true to the old adage, you can鈥檛 always judge a book by its cover. Once you know what鈥檚 inside, it鈥檚 hard to be afraid of anything 鈥� especially another person. Trust that you will meet and build relationships with the 鈥榬ight鈥� people 鈥� you will know they are the right ones because they like you and you like them. A good business relationship, like any other, is about having a comfort level with that person. It鈥檚 the person behind the personae who you want to know, and with whom you will ultimately like and trust enough to share your connections and referrals.

9. Make the environment supportive and comfortable for you. Begin with wearing comfortable clothing that makes you feel good. If you can鈥檛 create the physical environment personally, pay attention to your body 鈥� position yourself to have a wall behind you, have something in your hands, make sure your business cards are easily accessible. Also, don鈥檛 eat or drink too much as that can make you feel uncomfortable. Do not apologize for how you look, how you鈥檙e dressed, how you sound or act 鈥� project confidence in who you are and know that your physical presentation reflects that. Remember that you are CHOOSING to do this event, so you can also CHOOSE to not do it 鈥� you have the power.

10. Set your intentions ahead of time, whether it鈥檚 to meet three new people with good connections, share information, learn the latest industry buzz, find someone with a common interest, brainstorm new ideas, celebrate a success, build your referral list, practice your marketing messages, find someone to create a support or an R and D team with, or just remind yourself how good you are at what you do鈥� putting out good energy and keeping an open mind will magnetically draw people to you. Until you get really comfortable in networking, you might want to have several different conversational topics in mind before you get there, or you can simply trust that you will say what you need to say when you are in the moment.

11. As you meet people, ask how you can bring them together with opportunities. Remember that you are sharing good energy with an open mind, which is very attractive to others. It鈥檚 the Law of Attraction in its most fundamental form. Besides, that is creating a way to be involved with the people you meet. You get out of something the vibrational match of what you put into it, so go ahead and commit to finding and creating opportunities for others (and you will benefit likewise). You may need to take some time to recover after the event, but while you are there, participate in it as much as you can.

12. If there is someone who wants to explore what you do (as a potential client), follow through by asking more thorough questions. This is how you can mutually determine if your solution is a possible fit. Your potential client will feel your sincerity and that you know what you鈥檙e talking about. (Note: A side benefit is that you learn more about how your Audio Logo fits with a real prospective client; they let you know what they care about and if you want to work with more people like them, you can incorporate that information into your audio logo.) Also, there may be times when people aren鈥檛 even really asking for themselves, but they want to know what you do because they know someone else who might be interested. Remember that this is not the time to 鈥榗lose鈥� the deal. A rule of thumb is that you should 鈥榮it to sell鈥�; that is, standing at a social event together is a way to initiate the connection but it鈥檚 not the best scenario to actually complete the sale. Instead, create the opening to follow up afterward to talk about specifics.

13. 鈥淟eave a door open鈥� with the people you want to connect with again; create the space for future connection by offering one of your tools (a helpful article, an idea, a referral, or another event) to cultivate the relationship. The real networking actually happens after the networking meeting.

14. Take the time to recoup in between networking events! Networking is a win-win exchange of ideas, energy and resources 鈥� it helps all the people involved, one at a time. Networking is the gateway to marketing visibility by generating more contacts, leads, referrals and, ideally, new clients. The more people you meet, the more business you will generate. Re-energizing in between events allows you to feel your best in meeting new people.

15. You may want to start your own networking group. This allows you to see the people you know in an environment that you select, and attract the people who want to know you. You become an influencer as people start inviting the people they know to your event. You could do: a monthly targeted marketing forum, a social dinner club, a speaking engagement where people want to hear you, a book review club, and anything that you like to do that can include other people (movies, walking in the park, etc.). Where there are people, there is the potential to network. It鈥檚 not about the event anyway 鈥� it鈥檚 about sharing energy and connecting people. Just as you are looking for kindred spirits, people are looking for excuses to meet others like them.

16. You are a commodity for your business; that is, it鈥檚 not about you personally. One of the most common reasons introverts don鈥檛 network is because of the fear of rejection. But you are building your business, which is something outside of you 鈥� it isn鈥檛 you, although your self-image will affect how well you represent your business (see Personal Development section). Recognize that you have a soul-driven purpose to fulfill through your business, that networking is a key strategy to building your business so you can share it with the people who need and want it, but the outcome of networking isn鈥檛 tied to your self-worth. In a networking situation, you are simply there to make the 鈥榬ight鈥� connections with the 鈥榬ight鈥� people at the 鈥榬ight鈥� time. And you鈥檒l know that simply because it鈥檚 happening in the moment.

Word Bridges for Potential Clients

Your potential clients may not understand the subtleties of your solution. In order to help your potential clients understand that you can deliver the benefits they are looking for, use a declarative scenario that describes what they want and weave that back to what you do. Use their words so that it is directly relevant to what they want, and they know that you have heard them.

Formula:

You want ________ and what I know to be the best way to get that is ______________.

Examples:

You want to accelerate your business results and what I know to be the best way to get there is to understand your own evolution so you can gain clarity in expressing who you are through your business as your life purpose made manifest in the world.

You want to express your soul more directly through your business and what I know to be the best way to get that is to align everything you do with your life purpose, address what gets in the way as you go, and keep taking clear, focused action in such a way that your heart sings daily.

Elements of Your Story / Back Story / Bio

Your back story / bio is a part of your brand / identity. It helps people relate to you by understanding how you got to where you are and connect with your passion 鈥� it gives you credibility. No one else has your story, so this is a distinguishing characteristic for you / your business; that is, there is no competition when it comes to who you are through your story. Remember that your story evolves as you do.

Break down the messages of the natural talent you were born with and translate for practical application by your potential / current clients. There should be congruency between who you are now as a result of how you got there and what you have to offer as a solution.

Part of your intangible story is any unique language or phrases that you use in the course of your work. This gives people something that is identifiable with you, thought-provoking and enhances your credibility as a leading-edge professional. This includes things like: signature behaviors, patterns of behavior and/or communication, rituals for people to hold on to (think: here鈥檚 Johnny!, 鈥楽plain it to me Ricky, 鈥淛ust Jack鈥� hands from Will and Grace show, etc.).

To create your story, consider these points and create an outline of key messages:
鈥� This is your persona 鈥� what do you want people to know about you? What gets you excited about your business?
鈥� Be able to explain what you do in one sentence.
鈥� Look at your history to find relevant turning points as relates to your business; weave them with your natural talents.
鈥� Include key insights, knowledge bits and milestones, and numbers (years doing what you do, how many you鈥檝e helped, percentage people鈥檚 businesses have grown as result of your mentoring, etc.).
鈥� Be human, which means being vulnerable. Share the not-so-pretty things as key turning points.
鈥� Share who you are, why / how you started your business, your failures and your successes.
鈥� Talk about what you overcame, created and/or discovered along the way.
鈥� Point out how you鈥檙e different to allow people to identify with you.

Once you have these key messages, put together a three-paragraph bio that weaves your story into a cohesive, full impression of who you are, how you got to where you are and why people should like you (people do business with the people they like). Once you鈥檝e written the first draft, ask a few trusted friends to read it and give you feedback. Refine it until it feels good AND conveys the power of who you are for both credibility and likeability.

Speaker Introduction

This is to help an interviewer or show / presentation host know what to say about you. It should be no more than five sentences: opening with your name, what you do (see Audio Logo section), what makes you special (see Secret Sauce section), purpose of the presentation / interview, welcome statement.

Example:
I would like to introduce our guest speaker, Lynn Scheurell. Lynn is a professional catalyst and she teaches entrepreneurs how to accelerate their business results through intuition, innovation and inner clarity. She supports people in discovering their essential life purpose and how to align everything they do for full expression in their business and daily life. Lynn is here today to share some of the keys in discovering your life purpose. Please join me in giving a warm welcome to Lynn Scheurell.

8 Points of Public Speaking Presentation

Public speaking is one of the best ways for people to meet you and 鈥榯aste鈥� your energy as you share important information, key insights and/or strategies to enhance people鈥檚 experience of life. While it is a worthy investment to work with a public speaking mentor (and I can point you in that direction if you wish) for such things as polished body language, using subtle cues to engage your audience, eye contact and more, following is a way to lay out the content of what you want to say in a way that should keep your presentation flowing and your audience interested.

1. Use An Attention-Getting, Benefit-Laden Title

Example: 聽Five Keys to Understanding Your Life With Extreme Clarity

2. Use An Attention-Getting, Curiosity-Generating Opening

Examples:

Engaging Questions 鈥� How many here would like to understand your life with extreme clarity? And how many here would like to understand your life with extreme clarity in the next thirty minutes?

Quote – Buckminster Fuller said “Your true purpose will forever remain obscure.” Now that we have that out of the way, let鈥檚 talk about life clarity鈥�

Story (humorous, philosophical, true) 鈥� There is a Sufi story going back generations about a man who lost his keys. He searched for them everywhere outside his house, and when a neighbor asked what he was doing, he explained that he lost his keys in his house, so he was searching for them outside. When the neighbor asked why he was searching outside when he lost them inside, the man said it was because it was lighter outside. And that is how many of us choose to learn our life lessons鈥�

Statistics 鈥� It鈥檚 been said that 90% of people who are in the last days of their lives are filled with the regret of not understanding their lives, and that they would do it over again much differently if given the chance.

Declaration Statement 鈥� My intention for you today is that you walk out of here with at least one a-ha, extreme clarity moment of blinding insight that will change your life forever.

3. Welcome Your Audience 鈥� State the Title of Your Presentation

Example: 聽Welcome to the Five Keys to Understanding Your Life With Extreme Clarity.

4. Thank the Audience for Attending

This is where you would also acknowledge and thank your host/ess for inviting you to be there.

Example: 聽Thank you for being here today 鈥� you have a lot of other places you could be and I value that you are choosing to be here.

5. Summarize What You Will Be Presenting

Example: Today we鈥檙e going to be covering quite a bit of information. We鈥檒l start with the basics 鈥� the definition of clarity as it relates to your life, why you don鈥檛 have it and what it will mean to get it. Then we鈥檒l talk about the five keys that could unlock extreme clarity in your life. And we鈥檒l take a few minutes to share the insights that you experience right now, here, today.

6. Establish Credibility and Earn the Right To Speak With Your Personal Story

Example: 聽A little more about me and how I鈥檝e come to earn the right to talk with you about this today鈥� I grew up in the Midwest following 鈥榯he rules鈥� 鈥� working hard, getting good jobs, contributing my best to what I did, living 鈥榖etween the lines鈥� of what other people expected of me. And I got predictable results鈥� I got promoted, I had a decent life, and I was miserable. But I didn鈥檛 know WHY. I was struggling. In fact, I鈥檇 been struggling a long time. I was mucking around in repetitive patterns that were causing me trauma, I wasn鈥檛 appreciated and I wasn鈥檛 happy. Fast forward a couple of decades through pain and punishment and suffering later鈥� by now I knew I was unemployable and was working for myself. And I realized that my best solution for others was to distill the process by which I got myself out of that situation. I wanted to save people time and energy and, frankly, pain. So I took a hard look at my life to 鈥榬everse-engineer鈥� myself, and understood that there were five pivotal turning points that I used to create new results. I鈥檓 proud and ecstatic to share with you these five keys for extreme clarity so you can use them for yourself.

7. Substantive Content

There are two aspects to presenting your content / solution; present the problem they have and the consequences of that problem (the pain), followed by your solution and the benefits of your solution. You can do it one problem / one solution, then second problem / second solution OR list all the problems followed by all the solutions.

Example:
Problem / Suffering 鈥� When your life isn鈥檛 working, it can show up in many forms, including a chaotic environment. You can鈥檛 find what you need, it feels like chaos when you are in that space, disorganization seems to creep into other areas of your life and you just don鈥檛 feel good.

Solution / Benefits of Solution 鈥� Your environment is a big key to what鈥檚 happening for you because your environment is a reflection of your internal state of being. By taming your external environment, you are soothing your spirit and setting yourself up for success. You can think more clearly, feel more creative and really tap into fresh energy and that has a big impact on what you are able to accomplish on a daily basis.

8. Conclude with Power

a) Summarize the benefits given in your presentation.
Example: 聽Today we鈥檝e defined how extreme clarity can make a significant difference in your life, as well as five keys to creating clarity that you can use right now, and you鈥檝e had a chance to already gain new insight as to why you are getting the results you are getting in your life.

b) Invite them to next step through 鈥渃all to action鈥�
Example: 聽If you鈥檇 like to continue this exploration into your life clarity, I鈥檓 offering _______ (buy this book, class, workshop, teleseminar, audio program, etc.). (I鈥檒l be at the back of the room, you can contact me at, the website is鈥�, etc.)

c) Thank the audience
Example: 聽Once again, thank you for spending your time with me today. It鈥檚 been my pleasure to share with you my passion.

d) Leave them with a memorable statement (see Networking Introduction section)
Example: 聽Remember, you can choose to have clarity in your life or life will make you look again 鈥� the hard way!

Networking Introduction

This formula would be used in a networking situation where you would introduce yourself as people go around the room for self-introductions. Be sure to stand up, use a clear voice, and project confidence about what you do with statements (vs. questions or an upward inflection in your voice). Use the Audio Logo Formula (above), add a sentence about your name and your business name, and close with a memorable statement. The memorable statement should be humorous, leave them with a positive about you and your personality.

I help _________ to __________________ so they can _______________. My name is _______________ and my business is ______________. Remember, __________________.

Formula:
I help (who) to (do / create / change / achieve what) so they can (have / enjoy / experience result). My name is (name) and my business is (business name). Remember, (memorable statement).

Example:
I help entrepreneurs to bridge the gap into soul-driven business so they can create a good living from who they are while making a bigger contribution to the world. My name is Lynn Scheurell and my business is Creative Catalyst. Remember, choose your catalyst or life will choose it for you!

Your Great Life鈥檚 Work

In order to understand your unifying message about your great life鈥檚 work, your sacred purpose and what your business is all about, it鈥檚 important to put it together in clear language. Start by stating what you currently tell people about your business. For example, I help entrepreneurs build their businesses, I am a business development mentor, I do intuition mentoring. Then take the key words out of that phrase (entrepreneurs, businesses, mentor, intuition) and ask yourself what that really means to you.

You are creating a mini-mind map of your associations around those terms, searching for the vital language behind the simple terms. In this case, entrepreneurs mean a special class of people who have unparalleled commitment, courage, candor and a special breed of heart to do what it takes to grow their business and make a greater contribution to the world.

Now, feel into the associations you are creating for each set of words to get into the consciousness of them and allow yourself to visualize what it would be like to be doing 鈥榯hat鈥� in your business, to make 鈥榯hat鈥� your legacy. Ask yourself who would most benefit by, and resonate with, 鈥榯hat鈥�, and what they would experience as a result of 鈥榯hat鈥�. Then put it all together:

My great life鈥檚 work is to share _________ (your special wisdom) with _________ (who / group of people) so they can experience _______________ (possibilities / outcomes / their highest good).

Example: My great life鈥檚 work is to share divine consciousness for personal evolution with soul-driven entrepreneurs so they can experience the joy of making a bigger positive difference for themselves and others through the full and robust expression of their essential self in everything they do.

Your 15-Second Audio Logo

Your 15-second audio logo (sometimes called elevator speech) conveys who you are quickly to potential clients, piques their interest in what you do and creates a sense of urgency for them to take action in working with you. It expresses the value you provide (what people will get as a result of working with you) and differentiates how you stand out from other solution providers in helping them get what they want or need. The idea is to communicate clearly what your clients want, how you help them and what the key result is for them. (Note: this is different from your Life Purpose Formula because it is externally oriented for the benefit of other people to understand your services.)

I help ______ to ______ so they can ___________.

Formula:
I help (who / what) to (do / create / change / achieve what) so they can (have / enjoy / experience what result).

Your Secret Sauce Formula

Your secret sauce is what makes you distinctly you. This is the extra 鈥渏uhzzz鈥� factor that no one else has – and cannot emulate – because it is uniquely you.
Your 鈥榮ecret sauce鈥�:
鈥� differentiates you from other providers in the marketplace,
鈥� comes to life by using vibrant language, and,
鈥� helps your audience perceive you are different from what is expected, known or familiar to your market.

A key to know that you are clearly stating your own 鈥榮ecret sauce鈥� is that no one else can say it and have it make sense for them. That is, if you imagine your words on someone else鈥檚 website, and they make sense for that person too, it鈥檚 not your secret sauce.

What makes me unique / special is _______________.

Formula:
What makes me unique / special is (my ability to___, my talent to_____, how I approach ____, the way I ____, etc.).